Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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