I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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