I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
