Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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