I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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