Please don't use social media to get back at me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just forgot I was standing up.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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