You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
