White coat. Heels.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
