I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize