Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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