Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
only if we run a train.
done.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I will pee on everything he values.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize