Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
