I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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