There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
