ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
God I need to hump something, right now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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