Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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