Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
