It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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