ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
