Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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