I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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