Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
