is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
