I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
