When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
