My hair reeks of homosexuality.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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