i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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