worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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