We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
