Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
