Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
