you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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