Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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