I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
