I accidentally burped into my bong.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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