I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
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i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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