If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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