it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
