distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
