Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
