apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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