Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
