I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He shit in the fireplace
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
