She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
