I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
