community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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