he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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