PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize