i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dear god my vagina.
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