Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize