...so i touched it.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
