My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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