she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
