margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
