Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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