does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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