brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
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Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
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It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
where are my eyebrows?
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