Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
